Fine with her

Dear Diary,

I think I have found a way to deal with my boisterous students. Now, instead of teaching them as a class of three, I split them up and give two assignments to do while I focus intensely on one. That keeps the pups from barking to each other all the time. The other teacher at the centre told me that I was a "nazi" in my methods, but I take my job of teaching Seal Communications very seriously. It is imperative that they mastur grammar and elocution before September because that's when they get dispatched into seal territory. I don't mean to be arrogant but they could not have a better mentor. In fact, I speak such convincing Seal that sometimes I wonder about my true parentage---and then I shelve the awful thought. ("Your father's a ho!", my other dad used to shout at me when he was drunk.)

Meanwhile, I must confess that I'm very worried about D Lim. I feel as if a part of her is always at work, and sometimes--more sinisterly--that a part of work is in her. It's been like this ever since she got that new job at the law firm. She can't stop talking about her boss: "Mr ____ wants this", "Mr ____ wants that", "Mr ____ wants me to purchase a nylon rope". Today, she took a call from him when we were out for dinner, and immediately sent back her sirloin steak, asking the waiter to remove three peas from the plate, bring them back on a separate dish, and discard the remainder. When I gently asked with great concern why the fuck she was being such a weird-ass anal shit-head, she replied "Mr ____ wants me to eat three peas on a big white plate for dinner."

I also noticed that she had difficulties sitting down, as if she'd bruised her bottom or something. I hope everything's fine with her.